Claude Y. Velndonom

        CEO Velndoco Entertainment Inc.

September, 2000

Greetings friends,

It saddens me to tell you that there has been no sign of my grandson Mike for the past several weeks. I really thought reassembling the crack reconnaissance squad I employed back in '79 for the hostage rescue attempt would prove successful.

I feel the mission was a failure because of the deadliest of all human traits: greed. Major Larkinson informed me that the menís morale went downhill when they were told that their payment would be in the form of backyard gazeboes courtesy of Velndonom Construction.

The men didnít believe the Major when he told them of my financial woes resulting from my ex-wife Mistyís take-the-money-and-run routine. By the end of the first day, all but 2 of the 10-member team had left the mission. Only Major Larkinson and Private 1st Class Milford Dwinkins (Ret.) remained. I would have been on the next plane out to lend a hand had I not been in the middle of that bidding war for the New West Hoover Palladium For The Finer Arts contract.

That brings me to another thing that sticks painfully in my craw. The sting of losing the contract to my old nemesis Harold Mensforth was made just a little harsher when I found out that Mensforth is about to launch a record label of his own called Grooviní Boogie Dog Records. I wish that clown would take a long walk, if you know what I mean.

Good luck to him, heís going to need it. Why? Because I am installing Major Larkinson as the new head of Stereo Laughs recordings until dear Michael returns to home and hearth. I miss Mike, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't just a little excited to see what this fine fighter is going to do with the label.

How about some good news? I've finally won my lawsuit against TV6 in Bentonton. I'm sure you remember the "expose" they did on Velndonom Construction back in 1998. They claimed I was "a corrupt dirty- dealer" who "squeezes the little companies out of business" and employs an "army of thugs to lean on those who complain against him." They lost big-time when their star witnesses didn't show up to testify. You'll be happy to know that I've just added TV6 to the vast Velndoco entertainment empire.

Also, I'm trilled to announce that yours truly is engaged to the absolute love of his life, Mandy Lynn. Mandy is in a dance troop called The Bun Patrol which I saw perform at a dinner theater called Filly's in Shiptown last week. What a gorgeous gal. I can't wait to install her as the news anchor at my station.

Mandy Lynn

May you be as blessed as I am.

Pray for young Michael.

Claude Y. Velndonom

October, 2000