Stereolaffs  News

 May, 2000

Hello everybody,

My name is Mike Velndonom, the founder of Stereolaffs records. It's been a dream of mine for many years to have a record label devoted to releasing hilarious new comedy recordings.  Please pardon the stuffy heading of this page.  Y'see, my grandfather, Claude Y. Velndonom III, is the one who gave me the start up money for this venture and he has been, well, a little more involved in the company than I would have liked.  Grandpa Claude, if you don't already know, is one of the most successful construction contractors in western Maine.  Recently Claude has been trying his best to become western Maine's premiere entertainment mogul. 

Yes, I realize how insane this is.  What's even more fucked-up is that my grandfather really has no interest in post-1960 popular music/art/culture at all.  This whole thing started when his biggest competitor, Harold Mensforth (Mensforth Construction Inc.), put up the money for a local independent film called Mr. Dreamtime.  The premiere was last month. It was in all the papers and it just caused my grandfather to blow a gasket.  He cannot stand to be shown up by anybody, least of all his biggest construction rival.  Anyhoo, Grandpa Claude, as usual, goes way overboard and begins investing in plays, movies, artists etc. His latest "victory" was the purchase of one of Western Maine's two bi-weekly music publications, Rave On magazine. 

You're not alone in the notion that western Maine is undeserving of two music papers (the other one is called The Music Times). Both papers absolutely suck, and so does the music scene here. There are maybe six venues that present live music: The End Zone, The West Hoover Palladium, ChowderTown, Spanky's, Ray's Clam Hut and The Borderline Brew Pub. Each club features mostly lame cover bands like Zenith, Blues For Hire, The Bob Timmins Band and Top Flight, plus a smattering of Karaoke (!).  There are a few original bands in the area like Goober Patrol, Stinkfoot, Radiant Dream and Whirled Peas, but they ain't too happening (I'm being nice here, people). 

Grandpa Claude says it's imperative that I keep you -the "interneting consumer"- abreast of all label news.  Hey, we only have one record out so far so I don't know how much news there is really going to be.  But, I will do as Grandpa requests.  Claude has also demanded that he get his own "net space" to voice his ideas, hence the Claude's Corner page.  I can't imagine he will ever take the time to write anything beyond this first post, so I figure, what the fuck.