Spirits were much higher in North Delaware as the news broke.  "The games are where they should be," says Kenny Banford of Lesterton, DE. "We were all laughing when we heard that Western Maine even thought they had a chance --I mean do they even have plumbing up there?" 

It appears that the games will not be broadcast live on the Western Maine-based Shout! Network! as was originally planned.  WM commissioner and network CEO Claude Velndonom procured the rights to broadcast in March of this year for a purported $30,000,000.  When asked to comment for this story, Velndonom seemed unfazed, stating that he plans to use the block of time to air a just commenced documentary on the area's fishing industry called Western Maine: We've Got Crabs.

Everybody in the Western Maine community, rock and otherwise, is still feeling the sting of the infamous Jerry Speiser impersonation hoax. Countless businesses were bankrupted and personal lives were shattered as Theodore "Tud" Ogelsby, the conman who impersonated the Men at Work drummer, robbed the town blind.

But sometimes things have a way of working out. While Jerry Speiser was never intending on visiting Western Maine as Ogelsby/Speiser claimed, he heard of the plight of the people of our fair region and has responded. "When I first heard what happened to those great people up there in Western Maine, I couldn’t believe my ears. Some conman posing as me ripped them off? That’s a bloody shame."

Speiser then made his intentions clear. "I think it’s only right if I go up there and try to make amends. Those poor people were taken advantage of by a guy who they thought was me, and that’s just not bloody right." Speiser and the Citizens Board of Western Maine have come up with an exciting solution: the first week of May will be declared ‘Jerry Speiser Hero Week’. A variety of events will be held throughout the greater Western Maine area, including Jerry Speiser walk-alike and sound-alike contests, a children’s fair dedicated to the art and imagery of Men At Work, a funnel cake eating contest and more.

Jerry Speiser Hero Week will culminate in a huge rock concert, which will be held at the Crab Carp Pavilion in Shiptown. Participating artists will include the reformed Troublemakers, I Need Help, the Bob Timmins Unplugged Revue and, obviously, Jerry Speiser himself. The budget for the entire weekend is estimated at $38 million, which will be paid by the citizens of Western Maine thanks to a very generous plan deduced by Velndoco Industries head Claude Velndonom. The citizens will also be paying for the development of the generous plan.

There is no love lost between Mickey Schulman and Rockin' and Boppin' Freddie Mugglorton. Mugglorton, owner of Golden Memories, Western Maine's oldest and for decades only record shop, has seen his business take a dramatic nosedive since the opening of Schulman's Platterpuss record store in Stonebridge. 

"This is sacrilege," says the 55-year-old Mugglorton.  "Everybody knows that you come to my store if you want to buy music. It's like if you want to get great pain killers you go to Stonebridge Drugs and Tackle, if you want great music you come to me. That little twerp sells nothing but tuneless crap that the Olympics and Moonglows wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole." 

Golden Memories owner Rockin' 'n' Boppin' Freddie Mugglorton 

"Freddie is such a dick," says Schulman, a 26-year-old native of Cambridge, MA. "He is so out of touch that he honestly doesn't realize people kept making music after 1968."  Schulman states that his decision to open Platterpuss was a direct result of Mugglorton' s lack of knowledge of current music trends.  "I had a mail order business in Boston and I was selling tons of stuff to music-starved kids in Western Maine towns like Stonebridge, West Bentonton, West Hoover and Crab," says Schulman.  "I scoped the area out and was flabbergasted that an area with such a thriving music scene had no store that sold current music. I actually went by Golden Memories and asked Freddie if he had any Pavement and he told me that yes he did....and that we were standing on it!"

Schulman's decision to open Platterpuss just blocks from Golden Memories location seems to be what has ruffled Mugglorton' s feathers the most.  "That little prick moves onto my turf to steal money from me and expects me to take it lying down," says Mugglorton.  "I tried to reason with him and tell him that crap like Bells of Sebastion (sic), Stroke (sic) and Building Spills (sic) are a flash in the pan and that he's only setting himself up for a heartbreak." Schulman states that just days after opening Platterpuss a mysterious package arrived which contained a mysterious  white powder.  "I thought 'holy shit, is this that Anthrax shit?!'" says Schulman.  "The FBI came in and we had to close for a week."  While Platterpuss was closed, Mugglorton renamed his store New Rock Freddie's and touted it as "the only place to get the latest and greatest new music." 

Platterpuss owner Mickey Schulman

"The truly hilarious thing is that he had no idea what 'new rock' is," says Schulman.  "He had a stack of Creem and Circus magazines from the 70s in his stockroom and just ordered albums by those artists."  Mugglorton, finding it hard to sell records by Horselips, Derringer, Steelers Wheel and Piper decided to revert back to his old moniker and return to selling only pre-1970's pop and rock. Schulman and Platterpuss continue to thrive and plans are underway for a move to a larger space.  The location? Directly above Golden Memories. Rave On will continue to follow this story.