I'm going to make this quick because some seriously upsetting and scary stuff has been happening to me lately. 

 Is it me or has anybody else noticed that there has been a proliferation of tough-looking Asian dudes in Western Maine these last few weeks?  I guess what I mean is that as far as I can recall there have never been any Asians in this area at all and now I'm noticing some...big ones.

I don't think I'm being paranoid because of what I just went though either.  Just the other day I was at a stop light in Bentonton and this carload of badass Asians pulled up next to me.  They rolled down the window and winked at me.  I seem to remember hearing something when I was in Taiwan about the mob's "wink of death" but there's no way in hell those guys would have found me here in good ol' WM....is there?

I'm not taking any chances with this shit.  I've hired several of the players from Grandpa Claude's failed football league to act as my bodyguards until this stuff blows over.  It will blow over, won't it?  Wait, did you hear that?  I could swear I just heard something outside. Oh man, I am not into this at all.

later (hopefully),