Claude Y. Velndonom
CEO Velndoco Entertainment Inc.
You'll have to excuse me if I seem a little delirious. We here at Velndonom Inc. are still on cloud nine after the world premiere of Lighthouse on March 16th in Stonebridge. I knew this was going to be a huge event but I would have been hard-pressed to call it the greatest night in the history of Western Maine. But it was.
Where to begin? How about the pre-show black tie dinner at The Lobster's Cauldron in West Hoover? Chef Fitzimmins really knows his way around a crustacean -I can still taste the buttery goodness! Mandy Lynn liked it so much that she took it upon herself to go back into the kitchen and thank Chef for everybody. I don't know what they talked about back there but it must have been very interesting because Mandy was gone for a good 20 minutes.
Next it was on to Golden Memories for a party honoring the local artists whom appear on the Lighthouse soundtrack record album. I must say that the music performed was not really to my liking (Mandy never stops teasing me about the fact that John Davidson is my favorite singer) but it was really good to see so many people out to support the local talent. I think my favorite part of the party was when a band that had a singer who looked like a cross between Mr. Clean and Quasimodo played that song that I know from the commercials.
The sight of 30,000 Western Mainers awaiting the arrival of its Lighthouse stars in front of the soon-to-be completed Velndonom Meadows is something I shant soon forget. It was so beautiful and the blizzard just made it that much more grand.
Velndonom Meadows groundskeeper Doyle Lumberton digs out the day after the Lighthouse premiere.
Mandy Lynn was so excited that she mistook Rod Sterling, one of her co-stars, for yours truly and would not let go of his upper inner thigh as our limo made its way into the stadium! She better get used to thousands of fans awaiting her entrance if you ask me!
Unfortunately I got an urgent phone call from the Governor's office at about 10 minutes to show time and I had to catch a flight to Bangor to attend an emergency meeting regarding a new bill which is calling for an all-out ban on harpooning. It's funny, but I still have yet to see Lighthouse! Every time I'm about to settle in and watch my sweet little love muffin on the silver screen some unforeseen emergency comes up and I miss it. Oh well, I'll see it one of these days. What I do know is that people will not stop talking about this movie. It was the only topic on Tom Delongpre' s radio talk show for just about all of the week the movie premiered. You did it Mandy!
Other Exciting News
I'm sure you have been following the trials and tribulations of Vince McMahon and his struggling XFL football league. Last month I stated that the Western Maine Crabmen would be the next addition to the upstart league. It appears I spoke too soon. It would also appear that the XFL is on its last legs what with the imminent pull-out of NBC as its main (no pun intended) media outlet. Please do not fear. The Crabmen will live on!
I Claude Velndonom am now announcing the formation of a new professional football league that will replace the XFL and eventually the NFL.....
The Northern New England Federation of Professional Football Players.
The NNEFPFP will feature the kind of hard-hitting, high-scoring football one can only find in the rough and tumble roads and lake areas of Western New England. Here is a partial list of the fine teams which will be playing their hearts out every Tuesday morning from January 2nd thru July 16th in an effort to claim the coveted Velndonom Cup:
The Rutland (Vermont) Maple
The Western Maine Crabmen
The Concord (New Hampshire) Primaries
The Augusta (Maine) Sand
The Glenn's Falls (New York) Scenery
This league is going to set the sports world on its ear. I know you are as excited about this as I am. That's why I know you will be more than supportive of the 34% tax hike I've instituted to pay for the new luxury skyboxes for Velndonom Meadows as well as Velndonom Arms, the extravagant yet elegant high rise hotel which will be built next to the Meadows.
I would also like to announce the formation of Western Maine's only entertainment/sports management company, VelndoLynn Management Inc.
I'm very pleased to tell you all about our first two signings:
World famous rocker John Parr...
Western Maine Crabmen quarterback Roy Troy.
These two gentlemen will lift our spirits higher than we ever knew they could go.
We are so privileged to be living in these times,
Claude Y. Velndonom